Lost in a gift shop

Why hello again. This is a picture of some Dall Sheep we saw on a hike up the mountains. Friendly creatures, really. I also have a picture of some grizzlies running a few hundred yards from us, but the image is pretty inconclusive. Hey, you try taking a good picture when you're pissing your pants.

So far, we've pretty much seen all the major animals...so we can check that one off the list. The logical next step is hunting all of them. I'm sharpening my knife.

The real wildlife around here, however, is the old people. I may have mentioned before that the average age of the guests at these resorts is 65. After further research, that figure might be low. Regardless, old-timers say the darndest things, especially when you only catch one piece of the conversation. Hear are a few examples of some things overheard:

Old lady: (On a bus going in to the park) "Lois got lost in the gift shop, so she'll have to catch the next bus..." 

(She said this in all seriousness. The lady actually got lost...in a gift shop.)

Creepy guy: "Can I get a picture of you two in front of the mountain? It's going on my photo blog..."

(Disclaimer: yes, this is a blog and yes, there are photos on it. But I would never admit either to a complete stranger. It's something I'm going to include in my upcoming book, "How to fail at life.")

Sometimes the humor comes not from the old people, but at their expense. This may sound unkind, but it's all in fun. Consider the following passage from our co-worker, Kenny. He actually says all the things that go through my head that I wish I could say.

Setting: end of a hiking trail.

Kenny: "Did yall see the grizzlys?"

Old people: "Where?"

Kenny: "In the park."

Old people: (excited about their sighting) "Yes, we saw a few over on the riverbed!"

Kenny: "Oh, over there? That's nothing special. Everyone's seen those. You need to find your own."

Old people: (Turn and walk away)

Yep, this is life in Alaska.